Starbucks

You might’ve opened this blog post and thought “what the hell does Starbucks” have to do with anything. Here it goes:

Before my pregnancy and throughout it, I always frequented two Starbucks. One close to my house, and one close to my job. I became friendly with the employees. When I announced my pregnancy to them, they were all so happy. We even began counting down the weeks.

And then it happened. I lost my baby.

Out of all the things I could’ve been upset about (seeing a baby, seeing a pregnant woman, getting my milk in-none of which really bothered me), the fear of going to Starbucks set in when I got home. I know, it’s a bit crazy. But how could I go into these places, when the previous week I had been counting down the weeks and days with them? I didn’t want them to feel bad after asking “so did you have your baby??” A few days after it happened, Gaetano wanted to go to Starbucks in the am. I.could.not.do.it. I began to cry. I had Leigh tell the employees what happened, after a suggestion from a friend who had also lost a baby.

I knew I had to do it. So I did, about two weeks after it happened. I stepped in there and began my healing. There were some tears, and hugs, but I was so glad I did it.

I returned to work 3 weeks after and was dreading visiting the Starbucks near my job. We didn’t inform anyone there and the same woman who I had seen almost every am did not know. As I came to the window, her eyes opened and the question came. “Hey! Omg-did you-“. “no, I had a stillborn”. She started to cry and held my hand.

I am so grateful for my Starbucks peeps <3

Signed,

Grande Starbucks Double Shot, sub vanilla, touch of whole milk

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